Even when you are moving on to greater horizons the past can be difficult to forget about. I was recently reminded about this with our recent house move, even though I knew it was in the best interests for our family I kept thinking about the home, people and life that we would be leaving behind. In three years, we had built up a happy and fulfilling life in Oxfordshire and the prospect of moving away from it all was both sad and scary.
During the weeks leading up to the move I started to detach myself from our previous house and refused to call it home, instead I viewed it as a shell that was storing our things until we moved down south. Instead of associating our big move with negative thoughts I concentrated on all the positive things that it would bring and it really helped me to focus all of my energy into the move.
Putting a positive spin on things really helped on moving day and made the long drive down to Dorset far less emotional than I had imagined. I wasn’t consumed with dread and worry, but with excitement about our new life and the new opportunities it may bring.
Sure, I would have loved to have kept my old life in Oxford. It’s where I called home, where my friends live, where my favourite restaurants and shops were and I genuinely loved the place and life was good – but, how did I know that life wasn’t going to be even better in our new place? One thing that helped me let go was the fact that Oxfordshire isn’t going anywhere, it’s no longer my home, but my friends are still there and I can visit them and it’s a long drive but doable in a day.
The prospect of having to let go can be the scariest thing ever no matter what the context may be. However, clinging to the hurt, upset and frustration that a sense of loss can bring can become overwhelming and have an impact on our health and wellbeing.
Not wanting to sound flippant or emotionally inept I think sometimes with these situations the best thing can be is to go with the flow, accept that a change is happening and see where the universe is about to take you. Letting go can remove the fear and anger that a big change can bring making room for excitement, positive energy and understanding.
Moving forward often means grasping the bull by the horns and trying to remember that ‘every cloud has a silver lining’:
FOCUS ON THE FUTURE
One of the positive factors of letting go of your old life means that it can open up so many opportunities in your new life. Thinking positively about the future will help you push through the past and hopefully make you settle into the impending changes a little easier.
DITCH THE CRAP
Seriously I can’t recommend this enough and I know that I’ve harped on about it over the past few weeks, but it really helps. There’s no point taking your unwanted possessions with you to your new life, get rid of it to help you move forward. If you’re starting a new life, you might as well go the whole hog, start with a new outlook and a new environment. This might sound like a radical move, but it’s so liberating and exciting!
TRUST THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK
Have faith that everything is going to turn out well. Even if things turn completely pear-shaped, and although it can be difficult, try to remember that eventually the fog will clear and you will be OK. When you know that things will be fine, no matter what happens it makes letting go easier to do.
DON’T HAVE ANY REGRETS
Change is how we progress in life, although you may feel disgruntled at first you shouldn’t feel regretful for the long-term as it may hinder this process. Believing in your decision or embracing the change will mean that you won’t remain rooted in the past and will help you settle into your future.
Learning how to let go is something that resonates with me so strongly right now because I have just been and still going through it. I know that I can find comfort that I can still visit my old life and see my favourite places and people from my past, but it’s still hard to adjust sometimes. As much as I love our beautiful new house overlooking the sea, it’s going to take some time to really feel settled and at home.
How do you let go of the past? Do you find this hard to accomplish?
Are you good at dealing with changes in your life? I wrote a post about how to deal with changes here.